My Need To Apologize

This wait for our I600 has gone on for so long and with the fact that when we do get that approval (and who knows when that will be) we still have to get through the Visa process has left me feeling so bad for my kids.  We know we are ATLEAST 2 months away from being able to pick them up.....and that is on the short end.  It most likely will be longer.

Abi and Joseph have been in foster care for over one year now.  They have had let downs before we came into their lives.  We have tried to heal that wound for them in small ways and make sure they know they can count on us.  They have watched kids come into care and then leave with their adoptive parents to be taken home.  We have gone to Ghana twice and left them there as the process continues.  They keep being told soon.....soon your parents will come for you.  I can't help feeling at this point as the wait has gone well beyond the "norm" that we have let them down.  How it must feel for them?  How they must wonder??  When I was there the beginning of December they asked me how long.......how long until you come back?  I felt comfortable at that time telling them 3 months.  That was on the long side of things so it seemed safe to tell them.  Well......we are at that 3 months next week and I won't be there.  Do they know this?  Are they watching a calendar?  I doubt it.  I sure hope not. 

All I can hope is they don't feel as let down as I feel like we have let them down. 

How much longer can this go on??  We have been asking ourselves this lately and have no idea what to think.  Logic and the tendency to think positively says it can't be much longer but each day that we wake up with no word leaves us feeling...... well......less than positive and questioning how long this could REALLY go on.